Homer Simpson Quotes on Life

Homer Simpson Quotes on Life and Other Temporary Events

Homer Simpson on Aliens
[Meeting Aliens] "Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"

Homer Simpson on Health Care
"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

Homer Simpson on Fathers
"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

Homer Simpson on Computers
"To Start Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key?"

Homer Simpson on Work
"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

Homer Simpson on Women
"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

Homer Simpson on Education
"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Homer Simpson on Life and Authority
"Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!"

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

Homer Simpson on Religion
"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

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More Homer Simpson Quotes

See quotes from that other great American - Warren Buffett