Life Quotes - Great Homer Simpson Quotes about Birth, Death, Marriage and Weeding
Homer Simpson Quotes
Homer Simpson on Marriage - Giving a Lecture 
"What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."
Homer Simpson on Effort
"Trying is the first step towards failure."
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."
Homer Simpson on Religion
"The lesson is : Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!"
Homer Simpson on Lisa and Science
"This perpetual motion machine she made is a joke : It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa, get in here! In this house, we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!"
"FBI agent Scully : This is just a simple lie-detector test. I'll ask some simple questions and you should answer with yes or no. Do you understand?
Homer : Yes.
[ The machine blows up ]."
Homer Simpson on Mothers
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
"You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."
Homer Simpson on Homer Simpson
"Maybe he is acting stupid to infiltrate an international gang of idiots. ( about a TV character named after him )."
Homer Simpson on Bart Simpson
"Bart : Gee ... Sorry for being born.
Homer : I've been waiting for so long to hear that."
"Bart : I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer : Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out."
Homer Simpson on Solar Energy, Nuclear Power and the Environment
"And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream"
Homer Simpson on Education
"Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England."
Homer Simpson on Money
"Homer : Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge : What's that?
Homer : [thinks] A dinosaur"
Homer Simpson on Life
"Marge, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer."
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