Homer Simpson Quotes on Life

Homer Simpson Quotes on Life and Other Temporary Events

Homer Simpson on Aliens
[Meeting Aliens] "Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"

Homer Simpson on Health Care
"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"

Homer Simpson on Fathers
"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

Homer Simpson on Computers
"To Start Press Any Key. Where's the ANY key?"

Homer Simpson on Work
"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

Homer Simpson on Women
"Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button."

Homer Simpson on Education
"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

Homer Simpson on Life and Authority
"Kill myself? Killing myself is the last thing I'd ever do. Now I have a purpose, a reason to live. I don't care who I have to face, I don't care who I have to fight, I will not rest until this street gets a stop sign!"

"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're sadly mistaken!"

Homer Simpson on Religion
"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

*****

More Homer Simpson Quotes

See quotes from that other great American - Warren Buffett

Top 13 Warren Buffett Quotes

Warren Buffett Quotes

Warren Buffett the Oracle of Omaha on Investing and Stocks

1. "Rule No.1: Never lose money. Rule No.2: Never forget rule No.1"


2. "Be fearful when others are greedy. Be greedy when others are fearful."


3. "It's far better to buy a wonderful company at a fair price than a fair company at a
   wonderful price."


4. “You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out.”


5. "Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing."


6. "I try to buy stock in businesses that are so wonderful that an idiot can run them. Because sooner or later, one will."


7. "I don’t look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over."


8. "Look at market fluctuations as your friend rather than your enemy; profit from folly rather than participate in it."


9. "Most people get interested in stocks when everyone else is. The time to get interested is when no one else is. You can’t buy what is popular and do well."


10. "Never count on making a good sale. Have the purchase price be so attractive that even a mediocre sale gives good results."


11. "I like to go for cinches. I like to shoot fish in a barrel. But I like to do it after the water has run out."


12. "Someone's sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago."


13. "If you aren't willing to own a stock for ten years, don't even think about owning it for ten minutes. "

See here for quotes from that other great American Homer Simpson - Homer Simpson Quotes
See here for more on the investing style of Warren Buffett